I believe #8

Happy Thing of the Day: SPRING TIME!

I believe number 8! Wahoo!

I believe that perseverance is hard, and that hope is necessary for perseverance to work!

Really, that statement sums it up right there.  Perseverance is hard. Let's think about it....when do you have to "persevere" when things are easy.  Perseverance is about never giving up, but you don't want to give up when things are going well.  You want to give up when things are completely crummy.  When nothing is going right, when things are just rough, you just want to throw in the towel and say, "enough".

I have this amazing mentor, he is my middle school band director.  I have known this man for over half my life and consider him an extra "dad" figure.  He's basically one of the most incredible people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  However, he has this awful way of knowing exactly when I am ready to give up.  It's like a spidey sense or something, and it's actually rather annoying...here's why:

He can sense when I am just about out of hope, and then I get this fantastically horrifying "dad" look.  This look cuts right through the center of you.  You can feel his annoyance with your lack of effort, or hope, or whatever it is you're currently lacking in.  This is because he is so amazing that he thinks you are spectacular, no matter what.  So when you are lacking in any area, he gets rather irritated because "how on earth could you think that little of yourself?".  I have gotten many, and I mean many, a pep talk from this man.  And every single one of them start with this wonderful, awful look.

Here's where things get tricky.  This look is then followed by the ever dreadful finger point and come here gesture, immediately followed by a sit down in his office with a rather intense lecture about how amazing you are and a stern "what the heck is going on?". Bleh. Not my favorite question.  Mainly because almost every time it was asked, this is exactly what went through my mind- "if I tell him what's going on, I'm going to get twice the amount of lecture I would initially.  BUT, if I say 'nothing', I'm going to get an even worse look than I'm already getting, followed by a rather ridiculous 'i don't believe you' ....".  You can see the dilemma.

Regardless of the answer I gave, one of two things happened, and usually they both did.  I'd get a very long and much needed hug, with a "I believe in you, you can do anything".  The next couple of days I'd usually get an email, phone call or text with an "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can", reminding me that being the little engine that could was much better than the little engine that rolled back down the hill and went splat. When he knew it was finals week, or knew something was going rather rough, if I entered the room, I'd get a mini pep talk with some Tim Allen motivation "Never give up, NEVER SURRENDER!".

I will always love that he does this, because the little engine is about so much more than perseverance, it's about having faith and hope in addition to having perseverance.  If you just try to keep going without faith, or at the very least, hope, that everything will turn out in the end, you're not going to get very far.

I remember the first time I really thought about what he was saying.  It came after one of the best and worst talks we ever had.  After he found out how close I was to really giving up.  Probably the longest and biggest hug I'd ever received, along with some major motivational speaking skills.  This talk was different though.  The way he told me to keep going was less about me, and more about him.  He told me he knew that I could do anything, that I was amazing, that I was important, and special.  He then told me I needed to believe all of the things he was saying.  I didn't merely need to "keep going" and "never give up".  I needed to believe that I was worthy of getting where I was going.  I needed to believe that I had potential, that I was important, that I was loved. I had to believe before I could keep going.

This, essentially, is a  big reason why this blog started in the first place.  Life was just not going as planned, and as much as I was telling myself I needed to just keep chugging along, I had very little faith that the chugging was going to get me anywhere. I needed to restore my hope.  Once I did, oh my, the wonderful things I could do.  When life threw me some quite enormous lemons a few months ago, I had a brief "what the hell" moment, and then kept on chugging, knowing everything would be okay.  My hope, my faith, my joy did not waiver.  Though things were slightly rough, and are still appearing that way slightly, I have been told by this wonderful man, and a couple other people who know me all to well, that I seem so happy and at peace.  That's because I am.  This little engine is so far from giving up.  Even though there is a large hill making my engine work overtime, I'm giving it all I got.

Don't just "keep going", keep going knowing and believing that at some point the hill will flatten out, and then you can cruise around with ease.  Believing you will get there is the hardest part of the battle, so find your little glimmer of hope and climb that hill!