So here you go, my tribute to my amazing friend, Cliff.
This last summer marked 1 year since my dear friend Cliff was called home to be with Jesus. I can only imagine what that moment was like. Knowing Cliff, it probably started with a pretty amazing hug, and then diving right in to some deep philosophical and theological conversation. Considering that is how every one of our little coffee or Chipotle dates started, I'm almost positive that's how it would be when he met Jesus.
I guess a part of me has finally accepted that he's gone. I don't know if it's him or not, but in my deepest struggles, the ones I would usually go to him with, I can feel a very comforting hand on my shoulder. With my wedding coming nearer and nearer, I had to come to the harsh reality that my friend would not be the one up there marrying me and my future husband. We had to find someone else for that, and that made me both extremely angry, and exhaustively sad. I learned so much from Cliff, which I have written about in other posts, but for now, I'll just list them.
1: Age does not define friendship.
Cliff was an amazing mentor, but I would also consider him one of my dearest friends. It may have seemed strange to some people that the first thing I did after or before service was find this incredible man and get my morning started off with one of the best hugs you can ever hope to receive. Cliff was old enough to be my grandfather, and actually was older than one of them. But still, our friendship felt no different than any other I have had. Our age difference did not matter, and though it meant that he was more of a mentor figure, he will always be one of the most amazing friends I have ever had. I was always welcomed with these incredible hugs, and then he would say "hello, friend" or "how are you, friend". Perfection.
2: People know you better than you think.
I vividly remember talking to Cliff about finding a youth group and church here in Laramie. When I was talking to him about the ones I had found, instantly he looked at my rather strangely and said "I can't believe that you would like those". I was shocked, I found my place of worship and you think it's weird that I like them?! He explained his reasons, knowing the denomination and the organization that they came from. They were rather, let's just say, traditional. I am not. There are many beliefs I swing more to the progressive side on. Cliff knew this, and sure enough, about a year later, I was not attending either of these places any more. When we talked about it later, he looked at me in a way that almost said "I told you so", but he would never say it out loud. I have always had a hard time admitting that people know me as well as I know myself. It was a lesson I am glad I learned pre-Wade, because he knows me probably better than I know myself, and it makes life much easier just admitting it. 
3: Sometimes disappointment strikes
I'm glad I learned this lesson from Cliff, because had I not, his death would have been much harder than it already was. Cliff's sermon on lamenting was the definition of being disappointed. He wanted so badly to kick cancer's butt, and wanted God to set him free of this awful disease so he could continue to do God's work. Sadly, He did not. This was very important for me to learn, because his death lead to a pretty big disappointment for my future. Ever since I met Cliff, I thought he would be the one to stand up in the front of the church and officiate the wedding of me and the man of my dreams. When he started the path to leaving us, I realized that my dream of having him up there with me was not going to happen. After his funeral, my mom actually said "you aren't going to get married at First Pres. anymore, are you?" My answer was simply, NOPE! How could I walk down that aisle without that man standing up there? Now that I'm engaged, it was the first thing I chose, where to get married, and I found a place that is perfect. Fortunately, Cliff got to meet Wade before he left, which gave me a lot more closure than if he hadn't. But still, disappointment struck, and because of this great lesson Cliff taught me, I can still have the wedding of my dreams, only with a little sadness attached. We will be missing many people that day that we wish could be there, but they will be watching and guiding us on our adventure anyway.
Cliff was an enormous blessing in my life, and I will forever remember his love and friendship and his incredible faith.
