I believe #7

Happy Thing of the Day: getting played "your song", for no reason at all, by the one you love

I believe #7....here we go!

I believe that God made your body, and your body is BEAUTIFUL, no matter what size, shape, color, height, width, or otherwise it is.

This one is close to my heart, because I know far too many beautiful people who simply do not understand that they are beautiful.

I have never, really,  had body image issues.  Sure sometimes I will look in the mirror and wish I could lose a few inches around the middle, but never to the point of starvation, never to the point of taking major steps to alter the way I look.  When I do anything to lose those few pounds, it's usually because physically I don't feel right.  I feel tired, out of breath, in general, unhealthy.  But for me, that has nothing to do with the number on the tag of my pants.

The best I have ever physically felt was when I was a size 12, which ridiculously enough in some stores is considered "plus size"....I HATE the term "plus size", but we'll get back to that later. This is me when I was a size 12...which is honestly only a bit smaller than I am right now.  I felt amazing.  Could I run a 10k? Absolutely not, but my asthma would take care of that regardless.  But in all seriousness, I was a size 12-14 for a very long time, starting during my junior year of high school.  The BEST I have ever felt though, was when this picture was taken.  I was 22, and felt amazing.  Am I the world's definition of "skinny"? NOPE, not even close.  Could I ever be though? Absolutely not. But I was constantly told (by the cowboy standing next to me), that I was beautiful.

The cowboy in these pictures is going to be my husband.  He is like any other guy.  When he sees a hot celebrity, or even a model like figure walk beside him, he looks.  It does not bother me.  Because this is what he says to me.  "She may be 'hot' but you're beautiful, and beauty is more important".  Now, some girls may find that a bit offensive, like he's telling me I'm not hot.  Notice, he never says I'm not hot.  And I am fully aware that by society's standards, that chick is probably "hotter" than I am.  I also am fully aware that Wade thinks I'm "hot" or "sexy" or whatever you want to call it.  Let's face it, we wouldn't be able to get married if he didn't.  I know by the way he kisses me, by the way he looks at me when I get dressed up and fancy, by the way he looks at me when I'm in my underwear at the end of the day.  I know the way he sees me.  But I would much rather be verbally acknowledged for my "beauty" than get a cat-call every time I take my clothes off.


This picture is when my perception of body image changed.  I was like any other teenage girl.  I sucked it in for pictures, found the best angle to look the best in posed pictures, the whole 9 yards.  I never really thought of myself as anything but normal, maybe pretty when I put effort in, but nothing less than normal. I had bought this exact same dress in a different color for homecoming the year before.  Due to some unfortunate circumstances (yes, I was dumped 2 days before the dance), I didn't feel like wearing the dress.  The next year for junior prom I wanted to wear it.  And then I went to try and zip it.  Day of prom, zipper will NOT move.  Enter blow to self esteem.  And in came my daddy to save the day.  He tried to zip my dress and told me that the only way I would fit into the dress I was wearing is if I was starving myself.  My bones were officially the same size as the dress.  I do not come from "small genes".  Let's put it this way...the women in my family have bodies that were built for having babies (we have wide hips!!). So, I called my best friend, we rushed to the store, and I bought the exact same dress, in a different color, and 1 size up.  It was the most fun I ever had at a school dance, and I think I look pretty good too.

This is me today. I have hips, I have extra padding just about everywhere, and I am totally fine with the way I look.  Would I like to be skinnier? Sure, who doesn't want to look better? But, I also have the privilege of knowing what I look like in my wedding dress, and damn-it, I look GOOD.  And this is because of a very important fact.  I buy clothes that make me feel beautiful.  I buy clothes that fit me, and are comfortable, and that show off the parts of me I enjoy.  I'm pretty much in love with my butt, always been my favorite feature.  I'm floating somewhere between a size 14 and 16, and I am absolutely okay with that.  Would I like to float back down the the somewhere between 12 and 14 range? Yep, but mostly so I don't have to go buy new clothes. I have no desire to be at my "ideal weight".  The ever ominous term that all body builders use.  My "ideal" weight is when I feel good about myself.  Not when someone tells me that I need to shed 65 pounds.

Do I understand that my doctor wants me to lose weight? Of course.  Do I know that I have the genetic make-up to be enormous. Fully aware.  I know that the women in my family all have had a struggle with weight and keeping it off.  But, I also know that I have heard almost all of them say more than one negative comment about their bodies at one point or another.  I remember, when some of them would say those things, I would think they were nuts.  My grandma would comment about wanting her midsection to go away, or wanting to lose weight, and then she'd come out of her room all fancy for Christmas Eve church, and I'd think she was so pretty. How on earth could she think that she wasn't pretty? And then, turn around and tell me how beautiful I look, when I am 4 sizes bigger than her? Incredible.

I remember growing up, we would all make jokes about how we looked.  I'd get called miss piggy.  All the women got called team thunder thighs.  But it was all a JOKE.  I never took it personally.  I'd do the same thing to my brothers, we all still on a very regular basis poke fun at all the issues we have.  Not just body issues.  I will always be grateful for those jokes. I gave me the body image I have.  It gave me the incredible amount of confidence I have in just about everything about me, including my looks.  This is mostly because of one important fact; the people calling me miss piggy and thunder thighs also told me that I was beautiful.  They told me how gorgeous my hair was, how pretty my smile was, when I looked particularly good in an outfit, when I rocked my senior year prom dress.  The number of times I was called pretty exceeded the number of times I was called anything else so much, that I remember that more than anything.  My brother says something to me quite often, especially when I am looking good that day. He will tell me "you are freaking beautiful, but if you would tone up a bit, you could be a down right fox". It's a compliment disguised as a critique, but it is one that is always welcomed.  Do I know that I would be a "fox" if I lost weight? Of course I do.  Am I going to diet until I no longer enjoy food, exercise to the point of dreading the gym and being obsessed with a number on a scale in order to do so? NO!

WHY do we always decided to focus on the negative?  What happened in our culture to make people focus on what we need to change about our bodies rather than what is already perfect about them?  Do you want to know what society wants to hear from me?  I wish my tummy fat would go away, I hate the fat flab on my arms, and forget about when I have double chin in pictures.  And then a picture like this follows.  A picture where I am being ridiculous with two of my best friends.  A picture where I am the biggest girl in the frame, and I look unbelievably happy.  Guess what I wasn't thinking about....my tummy fat, or my arm flab, or the fact that the face I'm making is probably going to give me double chin. I notice that I was in one of my favorite outfits (that I got complimented on by perfect strangers), that I was having a great time with my besties, and that I love when we all make the same face without planning it.  That's what I notice when I look that this picture, I see what is perfect about it, not what is imperfect.  I notice the adorable baby belly that my "big sister" has, and the ridiculous laugh that Bekah has going on.  I notice how happy I am in this picture.

I truly believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you should make that "b" a capitol letter.  Your "beholder" should be the one person who sees beauty in His own creations.  God does not make mistakes. He made you with purpose and on purpose.  He created you to be the exact way that you are.  He also says that our body is a temple, and to treat it as such.  That does not mean starve it until it looks perfect.  That means take care of it. Do not purposefully do it harm, and if you have done it harm, fix it!  If you are overweight to the point of a doctor telling you that you could die any moment, please, heal your body, but do not let anyone make you feel bad about the way that you look!  Find a healthy relationship with food.  Healthy means not starving your body, or over-feeding your body.  Feeling good about your body comes with having a healthy relationship with food.  You should not depend on it and you cannot avoid it.  It is nourishment for your beautiful body.

Remember, if someone else is pointing out that something is wrong with your body, it is probably something they dislike about themselves as well.  I promise, no matter what size you are, no matter what anything you are, you are gorgeous!  Please look in the mirror and realize that whether you are a size 2 or a size 32, you are beautiful exactly the way you are, and at whatever size you feel the best, feel the most beautiful, then you don't need to change that for anyone.  You are allowed to be beautiful and not look like Heidi Klum...I promise.  And if anyone says otherwise, they suck, ignore them! Come talk to me, I will tell you exactly how beautiful you really are!

I believe #6

Happy Thing of the Day: "i love you" kisses.

I believe #6:

I believe that if someone sees something "wrong" with  your religion, they will not try to understand it. 

This post is coming from quite a heated disagreement I had with someone on facebook. She was a secretary at my high school, and I thought she was a pretty neat lady.  That was, until this conversation.

She likes to post controversial posts about negative aspects of religion.  Now, to her credit, she does so with all religions, not just Christianity.  However, since that was the religion she was raised in, I feel from the posts I see that she holds a lot of resentment towards Christianity as a whole.  At least that's what comes across in the things she posts.

I try to stay away from these posts, but there was one that caught my eye.  It was about purity balls, which consequently I had never heard about.  I read the article and looked that the so called "creepy" pictures they had collected from them.  I became enraged.  Though I never went through a purity ball, and let's add that I'm not naive in ANY way shape for form, I still think they are a beautiful thing that a daughter can go through with her dad and family.

So as not to steer too far off point, to sum up, after commenting that I didn't think they were creepy, and that people will find fault in anything they disagree with, comments that came back from that made me feel personally attacked for not only defending the balls, but defending the opinions of the families in the video that got shared in another comment.  It was like a dateline report on them, with interviews of the girls and their families, where they explained what the balls were.  It actually made them seem MORE acceptable to me, not less.  The lady who posted that video was hoping for the opposite reaction from me, which stemmed an even bigger argument.

Here's my point: no matter how much I tried to show these commenters that this was a relatively innocent and simple ceremony, that it was about love and protection and not about control or domination, they refused to even try to understand.  I have been accused by some of her other atheist friends, on more than one occasion, of being "closed minded" and "un-accepting"...and "crazy", but that's a different point.  I was being accused of the exact thing they were doing to me.

Just because I am refusing to concede, because I am refusing to change my thinking and renounce my faith, that makes me closed minded?  Because all I got were put downs and mockery from these people, I felt attacked and stood my ground.  I stood firmly on my solid foundation of faith, and was then passively put down by being told that (to para-phrase) hopefully one day I would not need a Bible verse to tell me everything to do in my life...

I doesn't matter how much you calmly explain, how much you defend, how many positive examples you give.  If someone wants to see the negative, they will refuse to see the positive.  Most of the time I was willing to listen and see their side of things, I was not given the same courtesy, because I am a Christian and I have just been brain washed into thinking these things.

To say such a thing to me is to question my intelligence, which is beyond highly offensive.  To think that someone told me, so I blindly follow is absurd.  I did not just let someone mold me into a minion of faith.  I CHOSE to be a follower of Christ.  It was a conscious decision that I made with my free thinking brain.  To call me less intelligent, less of a woman, less of an anything because of my religion, to me, is the same as telling a black person that they couldn't possibly ____________ because they are black.  Outrageous, right?  I CAN do___________ even though I am a Christian. Why must we base everything we think about each other on something we can judge and ridicule?  Why can't we just LOVE people for who they are and for where they are at in their walk of life?  Why must we decide people are wrong for whatever reason?  Can't we just accept people and be happy? Thus is the human condition...we suck.

To be a Christian is not easy.  Having faith is not easy.  Forgiving with no apology is not easy.  Loving unconditionally is not easy. People say that Christians live blindly in blissful ignorance.  Blissful? Ignorance? Please.  My foundation rests on the fact that Jesus told me to love.  To love unconditionally.  To love without judgement.  To forgive.  To help.  To Pray.  My God gave me the tools to find my way, to follow a path that is good.  A path that is His making.  It is not easy to live by faith.  It is a challenge, but it is completely worth the amazing outcome.

I believe #5

Happy Thing of the Day: Super long naps

I believe #5! Here we go:

I believe that God can do the impossible, but doesn't have to.

This one strikes a nerve with most non-believers, and I would say, even some believers.  God does have the power to do all things.  Nothing can stop Him.  Nothing.

I see so often on social media, non-believers posting terrible stories about children locked in closets, children dying at the hands of people claiming their treatment of the children was "God's will".  They post these for two reasons: either to show us believers how terrible our God is, or as proof that one doesn't exist.  After all, how can a merciful and loving God put His children through such pain?  How can a loving Creator make things like tornadoes, hurricanes, or any natural disaster?  How can He kill so many people?  How can He let murderers and rapists commit crimes?

The answer to all of these is both simple and complicated at the same time.  He can stop all of these things, and I believe many of them are circumstantial.  I believe that when natural disasters happen (which scientists are pretty good at explaining how they happened, let's not jump to God being evil, alright?), it brings people so much closer together.  People of all beliefs reach out to help their fellow man, across cities, states, countries, the world.  He sees the love that comes from such devastation, how can He deny us the beauty of the aftermath? As awful and depressing as these things are to watch, watching what comes after is so glorious.  Did God send these storms to smite us? I sincerely doubt it.

As far as acts of mankind, this one is pretty easy.  He gave us free will.. End of story.  God created man, God gave man the ability to think, to make his own choices, and to act on them as they please.  Enter in super terrible human beings.  Why would God have given us the ability to make our own choices if He was going to interfere every time we make a wrong one?  That's just more paper work to do!  Obviously God doesn't have paper work, but you get where I'm going.  If Hew as going to stop every wrong decision, then why give us the ability to do so?  I have a few moments in my life story that get pretty dark and twisty.  Some of them I did to myself, some of them were done to me by other people.  I can honestly say I have hit rock bottom.  Could God have stopped some of these terrible things? Of course.  Am I glad that He didn't? Oh ya!

Had I not gone through some of these storms, had I not had to rely on God, to lean on Him to get through these dark and twisty moments, I wouldn't know His amazing grace, His incredible love, and His mercy.  I have learned through these crazy dark moments that I can overcome just about anything as long as I believe that my Lord and Savior is going to bring me out on the other side.

When a child dies at the hands of man, that man will pay the ultimate price.  Our actions have consequences that will play out both here on Earth and for eternity.  I believe that when these tragedies happen to any of God's children- rape, murder, starvation, abuse, and the list goes on- that His heart breaks.  That He weeps for our pain and seeks to comfort us.  I have felt the hug of God in scary times, and I mean scary.  I believe that it was His love and comfort that ended those terrible things, that healed my broken heart and brought me to a place of peace.  It brought me to the place where I needed to seek Him again, and start this blog and find out how amazing He could make my heart feel.  My soul is bursting with His love and I know that it was those trials that I went through that brought me to this place of happiness.

God has the power to do all things, but, if He can find a way to make His plans known, to change the
direction of the path with giant red blinking arrows pointing toward Him when we steer away, He will.  Man makes mistakes, and God has to find a way to fix them, not to interfere with them.

I believe #4

Happy Thing of the Day: sleeping until you can sleep no more

More I believes! I'm going for 10!

I believe Jesus Christ, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; he descended into hell; on the third day he rose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven,

Since Easter was just a couple of days ago, I feel like with the general premise of this blog, it is important for me to to acknowledge a couple of things I believe about God.  So here we go...Easter.

I believe, to my very core, that God sent His one and only son to die for my sins.  I believe that His son died on the cross, and that 3 days later, He rose again.  I believe that He paid the ultimate price for my sins, to save me, and came back to show just how awesome our God is.

Many non-believers have a lot of problems with just about everything that happens in the Bible, and really just every day things that believers believe.  But we're going to focus on two very "impossible" things that they have the biggest problem with.

Jesus was conceived by immaculate conception.  He was born of a virgin. Impossible? Okay, biologically, sure that probably is "impossible".  With the exception of a virgin being artificially inseminated, this pretty much could never happen.  But since when does that stop God?  To be a believer means simply that, to believe.  If you do not have faith in God then yes, this is going to sound ridiculous, impossible, and makes all us Christians sound like we are cuckoo for cocoa puffs.  We believe in the impossible.  We believe that our God is so incredible, so amazing, so powerful that He can do ANYTHING.  He makes the impossible possible.  So yes, we believers truly believe that Jesus was born of a virgin to save us all.

Many non-believers have a very hard time grasping Easter as well.  A guy dies on a cross and comes back to life three days later...impossible? Sure.  For God, no big deal.  This is not the first time the dead has been brought back to life (in the Bible anyway). Both in the Old and New Testaments, people have been raised from the dead by miracles from God.  God can  do the impossible, but He is not required to do so,

we'll get to that in a later post.

I believe that Jesus died on the cross as a sacrifice for us all.  Many of my Atheist friends have issues with this, mostly the parents. They claim that no one could give up a child for a sacrifice, that no loving parent can put their child through the torture that Jesus endured, send them to Hell, for the resurrection of all. Well, that's just it, the sacrifice had to be one of immense meaning.  This had to be a sacrifice from God, not from man.  The only thing God had to sacrifice was His own child.  The torture He endured was a product of man, not a product of God.  Jesus KNEW this was what He needed to do.  He knew that in order for no man to ever die again, a pure and true sacrifice must be paid, and it was done by God's own blood.  God paid for our sins.  Here is where some Christians debate.  Are God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit 3 in 1, or are the separ
ate entities.  I won't get into that debate, but if you believe the 3 in 1 doctrine, then really God sacrificed himself, I am not sure which is true, but that is one way to look at it.

I do not think this was an evil act of God, I think it is beyond the most incredible act of love.  I believe on the third day, He had gathered the souls and sent them to be with their Father, and then came back to show God's amazing power.  That not even death can stop Him, and that we no longer have to fear death, that we will spend eternity in paradise with Him.  I believe this to my very core.  I believe this regardless of the proofs you have that this is impossible, I believe this even if you think it makes me naive and crazy.  I am a believer, I believe that God's one and only son came and saved me because He loves me!

I believe #3

Happy Thing of the Day: Fiances that spoil you rotten (like by buying you a new car....yep, that's me!!)

Here's day three of "I believe".  Today is so close to my heart, and it will be extremely present in this post.

I believe there is nothing more important than friendship

I know that many of you will disagree with me on this one, at least at first.  I promise though, if you hang in with me until the end, you might not think that way anymore.

When I say that I believe nothing is more important than friendship, I mean that with my deepest most being.  Friendship is the thing of miracles, of life changing, life improving wonderfulness.  Absolutely nothing can change your life like friendship, NOTHING!

I know that many people will say, "but family is so much more important", or "wait, the Jesus girl isn't putting God in that sentence"....and both would be correct.

Why does "friendship" have to define only non-blood related human beings?  Why is that the definition of "friend" that so many of us use in our vocabulary.  Why can't a friend encompass so much more than that?  To me, there are so many categories of friendship that it cannot truly be defined at all.

Perfect example...this lady pictured to the right.  This lady is my grandma Judy.  Is is, if you don't mind my gloating, the world's most incredible grandma.  This woman lives and breathes her grandchildren, and I must say, I know I get a little bit of special treatment because I'm the only granddaughter.  She and I have a relationship that cannot be touched by ANYONE!  I have shared almost every secret I have with this woman.  I would say the vast majority of conversations we have start with the phrase "don't tell mom, but...".  I am incredibly lucky, because I can honestly say that my grandma is one of my best friends.  I can talk to her for hours without running out of topics of conversation.  She knows exactly what I need, at exactly the precise moment.  This is a friendship I could not imagine my life without!

Then we get to the part about God.  A "relationship" with God means nothing without having a friendship with Him first.  Yes, He is my Father, my Maker, and my Redeemer, but He is also my Friend.  I can have conversations with Him like I can my best friend.  I sarcastically look up to the sky and ask Him "was that really necessary?" or "okay, I get it!".  I can trust my Maker because I have a deeper relationship with Him than just simply He is the one that created me and watches over me. He is the friend I can go to in my darkest hour, when I am lost and on a path that scares the living day lights out of me.  That friend comes and rescues me where I'm at.  He finds me and holds my hand, telling me everything will be alright.  Following God without knowing Him as closely and as honestly as a friend does, means you are blindly following a master, rather than walking beside Him as a Guide and Friend.

Then we get to friendship.  Can you honestly picture a world in which you didn't have friends outside of your family....YIKES. Sounds scary. Friendship is so necessary to survive.  I have had some incredible friendships throughout my life.  Some that have lasted for years and years.  There are so many levels a friendship can reach if you put in the time and emotions that it requires.  Someone knowing the scariest, darkest, most broken parts of you, but also knowing the parts that shine with joy, that kind of person in your life is essential.  Friendships help us grow, help us live, and most importantly, help us love.  Life without friendship seems so pointless.  I cannot begin to fathom my life without these ladies, they are some of the most important people in my life, and I am honored to call them my friends.

Friendship is essential, it is required, it is by far, the most important thing you can have in your life.  Just don't let walls block in your definition of friendship, because it will leave you with the possibility of so many more friendships being able to enter into your heart and change you!

I believe #2

Happy Thing of the day: Snuggles with the most amazing man on the planet. Beyond perfection!

Here's #2 on the "I believe" journey, don't know how many there will be, but I hope they're good ones!

I believe you are meant to do something, but that something can change.

This one hits home for me pretty hard.  Let's start with the back story:

For as long as I can remember, the only thing I ever wanted to "be when I grew up" was a teacher.  I have always worked well with kids of all ages, am beyond obsessed with learning, and love when I can teach someone something I know. I love sharing knowledge!

For a while, the only thing that changed was the subject I wanted to teach.  When I was little, it was math (what in the world was I thinking?!).  Then it was English, then history, and finally by senior year it evolved to music.  I was so excited to start learning to be a music teacher.  I was so positively influenced by my music teachers over the years, I couldn't wait to join them!  Then I had a "mid-life crisis" at age 19 and realized the music thing was not going to happen.

So then I became an Elementary Ed major.  My love for teaching grew to an unimaginable passion.  And then life happened yet again and my GPA plummeted to the point of no return, and I had to switch majors yet again, but only temporarily, I still had a plan to become a teacher, it was just a route with a lot of detours.  But I knew I'd get there eventually.  Finally, college graduation seemed to become a pipe dream, and I decided not to finish college (or at least take some time off).  My dream of being a teacher was diminishing by the second.

Then the amazing happened, I got my job at WyoTech and I fell in love.  It was the world's best job.  I loved the instructors, the other staff, and especially the students.  I never had a morning where I didn't want to go to work. Flash forward a year, and corporate decided to get rid of my position.  Lame.  My fiance then got me a job where he worked, The Cathedral Home for Children.  Yet again, I was working with "kids", sure at WyoTech I was working mostly with 18-19 year old's or older, but still, I was working with students.  I finally realized, I didn't have to be a teacher to use my talents with "kids".

Now, to my point- using your talents is not defined by a specific career.  I thought for the longest time that I had to be a teacher, that being a teacher was what I was put on this Earth to do.  WRONG.  I was mereal job would eventually be becoming a mom.  I'm pretty excited for when that happens, though I am okay if that takes a few years.
ant to work with students.  With "kids" who need to learn something.  Whether I am actually teaching them, or helping them succeed in their current situation,  I was meant to be with kids.  This is also when I realized my

Just because your heart desires a specific thing to do with your life, doesn't mean that's exactly what it has to be.  Would I still be an amazing teacher? Of course.  Am I happy as long as I am working with students? YEP!  My passion is not only "teaching" but it's kids! That's where my heart needs to be to be full and happy.  That's what I need to be doing to use my potential.  And that gives me SO many options of what I can do with my life!  Working with kids is such an enormously broad topic it's incredible, and I have all of those options for what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.

I believe that you were meant to do something, but don't limit where that something can take you.  Don't be so focused on that one specific thing that you forget that your talents can be used in so many different ways.  If your thing is technology, you don't have to be a programmer.  If your thing is math, you don't have to be a mathematician.  If your thing is kids, you don't have to be a teacher.  Find the place that fills your passion, find the job that fills your heart with glee, THAT is where you belong.  Try different areas until you find your niche.  Being happy doing something that uses your talents is what God intended, but he didn't mean you had to have something specific to set your mind on.  Let your dreams take you on an adventure!  You'll be amazed where it can take you!

I believe...

Happy Thing of the Day: a hot cup of tea when you're sick! perfection!

Have you ever heard the song "Affirmation" by Savage Garden? If not, I highly recommend it.  It's actually quite the inspiring song, if you take the time to really listen to the lyrics. So that you can get the gist of it, here is the chorus:

I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

Essentially, the entire song is a bunch of "I believe" statements, some of which are so incredibly true, they almost strike you down and make you think deeply about life in general.  You've got to love songs that can impact you, it's just wonderful.

I have this song on a playlist I've been frequently playing in my car as of late, and it got me thinking, what do I believe? Other than the obvious, if you read my blog, that I believe in God, what do I value? What do I "believe"? How have these things shaped my life? When something hits you this hard, especially in what I must define as a hiccup point in life, it makes you evaluate where you stand and where that will lead you.  So here goes, just a couple of "I believe"s to get you thinking for the next couple of posts.  Here's the first one!

I believe that EVERYONE has the right to love whomever they choose in the way that they choose.

This is a big one for me.  Whether you are talking about marriage or not, what "rights" people have, or what is "social acceptable" or "religiously correct", no one should be told it is not "okay" to love someone else.  Regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, disability, and the like, if person A is in love with person B, LEAVE THEM THE HELL ALONE! Why does everyone feel the need to judge and pick apart the way people love.  Everyone has a "type", everyone has a laundry list, so to speak, of qualities that they desire in their person.  I say "their person" because I do NOT believe you need to be married to have a true and deep commitment of "forever".  Even though the path Wade and I have chosen is one that begins with "I Do", and yes, many things in life are easier if you have that one piece of paper that says you are legally bound to this person, "forever" does not require two rings and a piece of paper...it just doesn't.  Despite the fact that I cannot wait to call Wade my husband in conversation, I know that my feelings for him will not change once I put that ring on his finger.  I do not know if it's possible for me to love him more, but I know I wouldn't love him less if we weren't getting married.

I also know that when people say "It doesn't bother me if they're together, but I don't agree that they should be able to get legally married", it's okay. People have different opinions on different things, and you judging and criticizing them for their "closed mindedness" or "prejudice" is just as bad as when people say that it's "unnatural" to love ___________ if you're __________. I would just like to point out I didn't put a gender there, because people call LOTS of different combinations of people in love "unnatural", not just ones pertaining to sexual orientation.  Before I make this next statement let's make one thing clear; I am 100% behind gay marriage.  Hands down, totally has my support.  However, for all you LGBTQ folks out there reading this, you are NOT the only ones being told you shouldn't be together/ be able to get married.  Though legally I have always had the right to marry Wade, not everyone has always supported our choice in being together.  Once it got to the point where Wade was down on one knee asking me to marry him, everyone was pretty much on board.  But we both heard a lot of "you shouldn't be with that kind of person", we still, on occasion, hear this from certain people.  Though we are not being "persecuted" by the masses, we were by a small clump of people there for a while.  I have friends who still, in 2014, get called racial slurs for being an "oreo" baby (as most of my friends call themselves).  Really, didn't we get over this about 50 years ago? Oh, woops, not everyone got that memo.  This is a battle that is still continuously fought.  If EVERYONE was just a tiny bit more accepting of differing views, we would have a lot less issues in this wonderful country we live in.  Now, does that mean I think the government should be able to dictate who gets married? Of course not.  But let's just say gay marriage passed in all 50 states...in 50 years, there will still be those people who are not comfortable with that situation....and that should be okay as long as they are not judging your choice.  And no, those aren't the same thing!

To sum up, if you are a boy, and you like another boy, awesome, I couldn't be happier for you.  If you are not entirely comfortable with this type of relationship, but don't object to them holding hands and smooching as they walk down the street, THANK YOU.  Thank you for being honest, and for not judging others.  Again, just because they have a different opinion than you, does not mean they are bad people or that they are judging you. Do I think people can have their own opinion, regardless of if they agree with me? OF COURSE! Would I rather not get the judging eyes when people find out Wade and I will have lived together for over two years by the time we get married? Absolutely.  But there are those people out there who have looked me in the eye and said,"I don't really think you should live with someone before you get married, but honestly if that's what works for your relationship then do what makes your life happy and easy".  Those people, though they all have their own way of saying it, informed me that they disagree with my life choice, but are not going to think less or differently of me for that choice.  That is the very definition of having a differing opinion without judgement.  THAT'S what needs to happen.  The presence of a different opinion in conjunction with a statement of understanding and acceptance, and without a statement of judgement.


Go love whomever you want to love.  Go live with, marry, just BE with that person that completes you.  Forget the judgments and just be happy in love and accept people for their differences!