Have you ever heard the song "Affirmation" by Savage Garden? If not, I highly recommend it. It's actually quite the inspiring song, if you take the time to really listen to the lyrics. So that you can get the gist of it, here is the chorus:
I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
Essentially, the entire song is a bunch of "I believe" statements, some of which are so incredibly true, they almost strike you down and make you think deeply about life in general. You've got to love songs that can impact you, it's just wonderful.
I have this song on a playlist I've been frequently playing in my car as of late, and it got me thinking, what do I believe? Other than the obvious, if you read my blog, that I believe in God, what do I value? What do I "believe"? How have these things shaped my life? When something hits you this hard, especially in what I must define as a hiccup point in life, it makes you evaluate where you stand and where that will lead you. So here goes, just a couple of "I believe"s to get you thinking for the next couple of posts. Here's the first one!
I believe that EVERYONE has the right to love whomever they choose in the way that they choose.
This is a big one for me. Whether you are talking about marriage or not, what "rights" people have, or what is "social acceptable" or "religiously correct", no one should be told it is not "okay" to love someone else. Regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, disability, and the like, if person A is in love with person B, LEAVE THEM THE HELL ALONE! Why does everyone feel the need to judge and pick apart the way people love. Everyone has a "type", everyone has a laundry list, so to speak, of qualities that they desire in their person. I say "their person" because I do NOT believe you need to be married to have a true and deep commitment of "forever". Even though the path Wade and I have chosen is one that begins with "I Do", and yes, many things in life are easier if you have that one piece of paper that says you are legally bound to this person, "forever" does not require two rings and a piece of paper...it just doesn't. Despite the fact that I cannot wait to call Wade my husband in conversation, I know that my feelings for him will not change once I put that ring on his finger. I do not know if it's possible for me to love him more, but I know I wouldn't love him less if we weren't getting married. I also know that when people say "It doesn't bother me if they're together, but I don't agree that they should be able to get legally married", it's okay. People have different opinions on different things, and you judging and criticizing them for their "closed mindedness" or "prejudice" is just as bad as when people say that it's "unnatural" to love ___________ if you're __________. I would just like to point out I didn't put a gender there, because people call LOTS of different combinations of people in love "unnatural", not just ones pertaining to sexual orientation. Before I make this next statement let's make one thing clear; I am 100% behind gay marriage. Hands down, totally has my support. However, for all you LGBTQ folks out there reading this, you are NOT the only ones being told you shouldn't be together/ be able to get married. Though legally I have always had the right to marry Wade, not everyone has always supported our choice in being together. Once it got to the point where Wade was down on one knee asking me to marry him, everyone was pretty much on board. But we both heard a lot of "you shouldn't be with that kind of person", we still, on occasion, hear this from certain people. Though we are not being "persecuted" by the masses, we were by a small clump of people there for a while. I have friends who still, in 2014, get called racial slurs for being an "oreo" baby (as most of my friends call themselves). Really, didn't we get over this about 50 years ago? Oh, woops, not everyone got that memo. This is a battle that is still continuously fought. If EVERYONE was just a tiny bit more accepting of differing views, we would have a lot less issues in this wonderful country we live in. Now, does that mean I think the government should be able to dictate who gets married? Of course not. But let's just say gay marriage passed in all 50 states...in 50 years, there will still be those people who are not comfortable with that situation....and that should be okay as long as they are not judging your choice. And no, those aren't the same thing!
To sum up, if you are a boy, and you like another boy, awesome, I couldn't be happier for you. If you are not entirely comfortable with this type of relationship, but don't object to them holding hands and smooching as they walk down the street, THANK YOU. Thank you for being honest, and for not judging others. Again, just because they have a different opinion than you, does not mean they are bad people or that they are judging you. Do I think people can have their own opinion, regardless of if they agree with me? OF COURSE! Would I rather not get the judging eyes when people find out Wade and I will have lived together for over two years by the time we get married? Absolutely. But there are those people out there who have looked me in the eye and said,"I don't really think you should live with someone before you get married, but honestly if that's what works for your relationship then do what makes your life happy and easy". Those people, though they all have their own way of saying it, informed me that they disagree with my life choice, but are not going to think less or differently of me for that choice. That is the very definition of having a differing opinion without judgement. THAT'S what needs to happen. The presence of a different opinion in conjunction with a statement of understanding and acceptance, and without a statement of judgement.Go love whomever you want to love. Go live with, marry, just BE with that person that completes you. Forget the judgments and just be happy in love and accept people for their differences!
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