Hope is there!

Happy thing of the day: the smell after the rain (source: outside my window!)

I started this blog to find the HOPE that was missing from my life. I found so many sources of hope, and as my hope and faith grew, more blessings came my way. I went from barely being able to pay my bills to having two jobs and having to quit one because I was working TOO MUCH. I went from not knowing what the future held and being so scared about it, to realizing that God has a plan and my future will be amazing. I went from lost to FOUND!

Though my little journey has been bright and shiny, it has lately been filled with a little more doubt. My life has turned around and blessings are showering down on me and my wonderful man. However, with the political battle that is going on, my world has gotten rocked a little yet again.

I'm sure you have all seen these signs on all types of social media and on the TV. Though I haven't changed my profile picture to it, I have posted it on my page. I fully support equality for all people. Regardless of what that is. Marriage, having children, being able to eat wherever you want and not be denied service, so on and so forth.

WHY does it matter so much!? And WHY are the people standing up against this the very people that were taught to LOVE?! I am a Christian, I am an ally. My LGBTQ friends are some of the most important people to me, and NOT because they are LGBTQ! My best friend is a gay man, and our friendship has absolutely zero to do with the fact that he is gay. Our friendship is based on deep, meaningful conversation and truly unconditional love! I support him in everything he does and in every relationship he has.

Here is where my world gets a little rattled. My brothers and sisters in Christ are saying some absolutely terrible things about gay people, all of which I do not agree with. My gay friends are saying some terrible things about Christians. My athiest friends are making statements about "all Christians" or Christianity that simply just aren't true.

"My hope and prayer is that one day, when people hear a story about a gay couple falling in love, getting married, and growing old together, they can say with confidence, “Wow, what a beautiful story about two people rooted in love.” Love, regardless of sexual orientation, truly is a beautiful thing">>

This quote is by a very bright young girl. Her father is a pastor. Welcome to reality.

"This is not an insult to faith. Faith is defined as "evidence of things unseen." I was taught VERY WELL not to question anything I was told, both by my patriarchal community and my fundamentalist religion. Question they couldn't answer? "That's not pertinent to your salvation." No thinking required, or allowed, in religion.">>

This quote is by a very wonderful lady that was in the admin office at my high school.

I have never been taught not to think for myself. I was raised in a very conservative household. I was also taught that my opinions are my opinions. There is nothing wrong with thinking differently, and that I should stand up for what I believe in.  I will stand up for my friends and for their rights, and I will stand up for my God.

I believe in Christ, I believe he has saved me from many terrible moments in my life. Some that I have put myself in, and some that I have found myself in.

I believe in gay rights. I believe that if God created you that way, there is absolutely nothing wrong. We are all created in God's image, and if He loves you, why should anyone think any differently.

Jesus said to love....so go do what He said to do!

Rant over!

Shhh...it's a secret!

Happy Thing of the Day: standing at the window and seeing the snow, the flakes of crystal perfection, feathering from the sky. pg. 223

Secrets.  We all have them.  A something that has happened that you don't want anyone to know, or maybe only a select few.  We've all heard the expression "secrets don't make friends" and the clever follow up "but friends make secrets".  Those two phrases as a whole make the best case for friendship that I know.  Who better to tell your secrets to than your friend, but that friendship should not be based on getting secrets out of each other.  I have experienced, more than once in my life, that a big secret that you don't share can eat away at you until it is all you can think about.  It consumes you, eats away at every part of your soul until it is all you can hear echoing throughout your body.  You just have to tell someone!  Or on the rare occasion one of your friends figures it out, and though you are angry it isn't a secret, you are relieved there is someone else carrying this heavy load with you.


But what happens with those big secrets? Those enormous, life altering moments that you maybe don't want to be figured out.  You'd rather risk the destruction that secret can bring instead of someone figuring it out.  I thought I had one of those secrets once, and when someone finally found out it was actually a relief, though I still didn't want it to be a shared secret.  There was someone I finally had to turn to and say "I need help".  Guess who?

God wants to hear your secrets.  I say "HEAR" because he already knows them. Psalm 139, one of my favorite chapters in the Bible, talks about how God knows us.  How He has examined every part of our being and knows our hearts.  He knows your secrets.  He has seen the deepest, darkest, scariest part of your soul and knows it completely.  So He doesn't need  you to tell Him the secret, He already knows it.  But He wants you to share that secret with Him.  Being with God daily means that we share the good and the bad stuff.  He wants to hear it all.  He already knows it, so what harm could coming right out and SAYING it really do?

The other part to these scary secrets is, maybe God put someone in your life to figure that secret out.  Don't be afraid to have that confidant!  I can honestly say I am amazing at keeping secrets, but when someone finds out those secrets, whether by me telling them, or the rare occasion that they figure it out, I feel better.  And that friendship grows because of that secret.  Secrets are powerful, and being willing to share them makes that friend know that you trust them, and it in turn makes you really trust them fully as well.  Why let secrets keep you from having that deep connection with someone, or with God?  Sharing them may be the best thing that ever happened! I can honestly say there are very few people in my life that get to hear my secrets.  In fact I can think of only a few who probably know every single one...

 The Love of my Life

 .....

 My "Big Sister"

 .....

 And my Best Friend

These three people know me inside-out.  These three relationships have only grown stronger because of secrets that I have told them and they have told me, and I know that God put them in my life so that I would have people to share my secrets with and not carry around the weight of the world.  They are beyond the most amazing people I know, and I couldn't survive without them.  We all need people like that.  So be willing to let them in!

Pray and listen!

Happy Thing of the Day: 10 more minutes when you need it. Pg. 437

Have you ever gotten good news, but you were too pessimistic to believe it?  Have you ever been in such a rut that you can't accept the good things as they come at you?  It's hard to be positive about some amazing news when for a while all you have gotten is bad news or things not going your way.  So how do you enjoy the exciting, new, and great things happening without that little voice inside your head saying "this is far too good to be true"?

Does the doubt monster come out to play too much in your mind? Are things too good to be true? It's sort of like when you watch the weather and the weatherman says there will be a snow storm.  You're looking forward to snow, you love playing in the winter.  But snow would just be too good to be true....until you look out your window in the morning and see beautiful snow flakes falling from the sky like I am looking out my window at right now...maybe you should have a little more faith in that weatherman...

Wouldn't it be okay for things to be just that...okay? Isn't it possible that God has a plan, and is just waiting for you to trust Him?  Do we need to put more trust in Him? Have a little more FAITH!?!

So what do you do when you're in the rut of doubt? Simple. You pray and you listen. In God's Survival Guide there is a lesson on doubt.  He says that "the Bible is clear: when we are beset by our doubts, of whatever kind, we must draw ourselves nearer to God through worship and prayer". Doesn't that sound easy....not.  The Bible says in James 1:6 "He who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."  That wind of doubt is so very powerful.  No matter what your doubts are, whether they are about the future, a good thing happening to you, doubts about a relationship or a job, anything that makes you unsure or uneasy, that wind knocks you over into that deep water making it nearly impossible to find a way out.

But what if, just maybe, we were willing to reach our hands up out of that scary water.  What if we were willing to be saved from that swirling water of doubt.  What if...we were willing to reach for God, let Him pull us up out of that water and follow Him.  God works in mysterious ways, and only He knows what path He has laid out for you.  Maybe all of the suffering and that rut of pessimism was all just to challenge you to follow Him, trust in His plan.  I started this blog to try and be with God daily, and write about things when I feel moved to.  I was trying to let go and let God. Trying to follow His plan instead of one I had for myself.  I thought things were looking up just enough to get me by, and I was beyond grateful for that.  But when things started getting even better, when things started looking up even more, the doubt storm came a callin'.  So I haven't fully let myself celebrate good news, waiting to make sure things are actually going to happen. But maybe, with this new, but not yet 100% sure thing happening, maybe God is saying "see, told ya my plan rocked!" I have been doubting His plan because things started looking too good to be true. But maybe He is just waiting to prove me wrong, to make me reach out of this water I'm hiding in. And if...WHEN...this goes through here in a few weeks,  that "Told ya so" will be welcomed with open and grateful arms.  Because His plan is turning out so much better than the one I was trying to follow.  Maybe this is just a test of faith, one that I am trying my best to pass with flying colors. God provides. I know this with all my heart.  I'm holding my hand out of that water as far as I can, and I know that when I'm truly ready to be lifted out, He will grab me and carry me to shore!

Maybe we all just need to pray and listen, know that He will come running if we need Him.  Never doubt the plan God has, it is so much better than anything you could plan for yourself.

Feel the ARFF

Happy Thing of the Day: homemade sausage- which is what my man and his best friend are currently doing.  meat grinder + game meat + seasonings = day full of snack time and taste testing.  Best job ever!

Achievement, Respect, Fun, Freedom

I have had a few teachers in my life who have introduced me to ARFF.  I was a way to evaluate yourself, a GREAT way to run a classroom, and from one teacher I learned it was the perfect way to balance your life.  I was introduced to ARFF by my 8th grade English teacher.  Her teaching philosophy was that in order to have a successful classroom and successful students, you needed to have Achievement, Respect, Fun, and Freedom in the classroom.  Our achievement was of course our work, and she would always call attention to sports wins, solos in choir or band, anything we did outside of the classroom that was noteworthy, she made sure we all knew about it.  Our respect came from her treating us as equals most of the time, she treated us as young adults rather than the lowly new teenagers we were. Our freedom came every day at the end of class. We free time to read, catch up on homework, doodle, whatever we wanted.  Every Friday it was 15 minutes, and the couch and bean bags were the highlight, and everyone wanted to sit there. This was also part of our fun, that couch was the coolest place on the planet!

When I got to high school, I met my Life 101 leader and she gave the analogy that ARFF was the way you needed to balance your life.  If your life was a car, A.R.F.F. was the wheels of the car, keeping you steady.  If one wasn't full you couldn't drive correctly, or safely.  All of your wheels needed to be full, or things just weren't right.  So when we were all feeling low on ARFF we would have ARFF note day in Life 101.  This is something I miss pretty much every time my ARFF feels low.  Instead of having a lesson or discussion, she would put on some music, hand out sharpies, and we would write each other encouraging little notes.  We had ARFF bags or boxes or whatever we had to put them in and she kept them in her classroom.  Anytime we needed them we could come in and read them, and of course we could take them home.  By the time I graduated, my ARFF notes were exploding out of my Life 101 kit.

Anytime I'm feeling like my ARFF is low, I pull those old notes out and read them, and I always feel so incredibly loved.  It is just what I need to pick myself up, realize I am great, and kick it into gear!  I go find ways to fill my ARFF and feel amazing at the end of the day!

I got these little notes out the other day and I just missed those people from Life 101 like crazy, wishing I could send them all a little ARFF.  So here is your ARFF 101ers-  Thank you for the support you gave me and still give me today, your love and encouragement still follows me today with all of my 101 reminders everywhere (like frog and flower shaped "erasers" on my mirror).  I know that none of us would be the same without this group, no matter if we were in it all 4 years of high school, or if it was just a pit stop on the way.  Thank you for these precious notes, I will treasure them FOREVER!  I love you all (even if you never read this)

Go fill your ARFF people, you will feel AMAZING!!!!


(pictures are all of Life 101 members from while I was in the group, top picture is our leaders!)

Thank God...but really, did you?

Happy Thing of the Day: surprise bowling dates (this one is MY happy thing, because the other night that's exactly what I got!)

On any given day, people respond in sighs of relief "thank God".  But did you really?  The other day I heard a group of people complaining and making fun of someone because they took Sundays off for church.  They talked about how religion was pointless and how God didn't exist.  And then after a slight crisis was averted, the main complainer said "thank God".  My thought was..."so you'll give Him credit but deny His existence?" 

On the other side of this are the Christ following crew.  We all say this tiny phrase probably more than once a day, but did you really stop to thank Him?  It's such a small thing when you think about it, we say thank you to a stranger opening a door or to a friend for a gift, but we don't very often thank God for what He does for us.  We really don't give Him the credit He deserves.  We are right in saying "thank God" for all of these tiny or enormous things He does for us, but we don't actually STOP and THANK Him. 

We ask God all the time for so many things- new jobs, new relationships, healing, love, or even small petty things.  But when these things happen, we forget, we actually asked for them, and most of the time, we don't say thank you to the one who granted our requests.  It's like we're three years old again and our mom has to ask "what do you say?" but we don't have that little reminder anymore. No one gives us that little nudge to be polite anymore, so shouldn't we all know better by now? 

Maybe we should all think when we say that, and take a few seconds, close our eyes, and just say "thanks!" because He really does deserve all the credit!

Enjoy the little things-it pays

Happy Thing Of The Day- layers of soft sweaters (taken from thingstobehappyabout.com)

Today's post is short and sweet- enjoy the little things.

The reason I didn't post yesterday and why I am so late tonight is because I'm enjoying life! I've realized you've got to live, and it turns out it was worth it.  Maybe God was trying to tell me something.

Before this new journey, Wade and I were so worried about money, getting enough hours at work, just making ends meet was on our minds constantly.  After having a big bill to pay for a truck repair, we realized how well we were doing, and decided we needed to look at things differently.  We have enough money to pay our bills, and maybe our "fun" time should include less money spending (like playing N-64, score!).   So, I decided that I needed to be less stressed about getting the hours, finding the new job, cleaning the house, everything just needed to slow down.

So last night I decided to let myself be pampered and after work I went to a Mary Kay thing and got a make over from my friend Natasha.  Then made a delicious dinner and shared it with my wonderful man and his best friend....didn't get home until midnight because we were having so much fun.  Then today I enjoyed hanging out with Wade (even though he was sick) and then had a late dinner after work.

Apparently God was trying to make a point, because I was given more hours at work, and offered a new part time job....SCORE!!!

There is always a plan, we just don't know what it is!!!

Be Content With What You Have

Happy Thing Of The Day: old fashioned grilled cheese (taken from thingstobehappyabout.com)

Are you content with what you have, or are you always craving more? Are you one of those people that constantly needs something else?  I don't feel like I am (or was) the extreme of this, but I did always want more in a way.  Rather, I wanted what I  wanted not what God wanted.

I am reading this book called "Live Loved" by Max Lucado.  The first passage is about Jeremiah and his lamenting to God.  Jeremiah is complaining, blaming God for everything wrong in his life, and everything he doesn't have. But instead of focusing on that, he decides to depend on God, realizing that He hasn't betrayed or abandoned him, rather he needed to realize that God has a plan.

The passage was what inspired the song "Great is Thy Faithfulness".  It is one of my favorite hymns because it reminds us that every morning is new, and every morning we need to give it to God and let him decided where our lives are going..."morning by morning NEW mercies I see."  Every morning, EVERY MORNING, He has a new beginning, a new idea for our lives.  We all need to remember that God's plan is going to end up so much better than the one we plan for ourselves.

We also need to remember that He will provide what we need but not necessarily more than what we need. "All I have needed Your hand has provided" Maybe not getting that new job means their is a better one waiting, or someone needed it more than you.  Maybe that lost job is just God pushing you in a different direction.  Maybe we all need to have a little faith and know that God will not lead us astray and He will always be there for us when we need Him and when we don't.  Great is His faithfulness, and so should ours!